I awoke
this morning
in the gold light
turning this way
and that
thinking for
a moment
it was one
day
like any other.
But
the veil had gone
from my
darkened heart
and
I thought
it must have been the quiet
candlelight
that filled my room,
it must have been
the first
easy rhythm
with which I breathed
myself to sleep,
it must have been
the prayer I said
speaking to the otherness
of the night.
And
I thought
this is the good day
you could
meet your love,
this is the black day
someone close
to you could die.
This is the day
you realize
how easily the thread
is broken
between this world
and the next
and I found myself
sitting up
in the quiet pathway
of light,
the tawny
close-grained cedar
burning round
me like fire
and all the angels of this housely
heaven ascending
through the first
roof of light
the sun has made.
This is the bright home
in which I live,
this is where
I ask
my friends
to come,
this is where I want
to love all the things
it has taken me so long
to learn to love.
This is the temple
of my adult aloneness
and I belong
to that aloneness
as I belong to my life.
There is no house
like the house of belonging.
-The House of Belonging by David Whyte from River Flow: New and Selected Poems
There is an obvious joke in this poem when thinking about these times with Covid and social distancing–there is no house like the house of belonging, because we all belong at home right now. Setting all my nerdy jokes aside, this poem is one of my favorites of Whyte’s because of the way he seeks revelation and self-discovery not by going out into the world for grand adventure and notable accomplishments but in grounding in the self-revelation that comes from digging into our aloneness and building a life that is centered in love.
Loneliness is part of the human experience. We can feel alone in a marriage as easily as single, we can feel alone as parents despite the din of tiny humans. Loneliness is not something to be avoided or prevented, rather it functions as a teacher. In our loneliness we learn what makes us vulnerable. That self-knowledge can teach us how to nurture ourselves well so that we can be in healthier relationship with others. Loneliness is an experience that teaches us about who we are, what we love and what brings us discomfort. From that we can learn how to healthily and thoughtfully connect with others and our labor in the world.
Be Kind,
Cara
PS If you are curious about the poet David Whyte and want to hear him read the poem himself during quarantine you can find his live reading HERE. I also really love David Whyte’s interview with Krista Tippett if you are looking for calming and thoughtful podcast to keep you company.
To Find a Steady Center is a daily poem and meditation to offer a short, good word to those who are anxious, fearful or lonely and who might need a gentle word of hope, encouragement or perspective during social distancing.
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